Monday, July 19, 2010

Well, I wouldn't do that

I was too late posting for Not Me! Monday last week, so I saved it for this week, and she's not doing umm, can I still do it?

I certainly would not allow (er, put) my child to eat on the living room floor.

I especially would not allow my child to eat spaghetti on the living room floor. I would have to be nuts. I certainly also would not post these pictures only on my blog instead of other places to avoid ridicule from others about poor eating habits and spaghetti sauce flung about.

I may or may not say this will only be allowed for the first child...and possibly the tenth...since at that point, I really won't care! While going to prepare Stevie's drink, I certainly would not have heard muffled cheering and music, to come back in and find he had pulled his little basketball hoop over (yup, from in his chair...I underestimate his wing span apparently) and was dunking spaghetti. And, look at my boy's hair! I may not neglect to tame it after naps just because it looks so cute and makes me laugh.

During a quick trip to Target, I did not chuckle out loud when a pregnant woman and her husband were walking down the baby aisles having disagreements over what would be "best," and the husband, frustrated, very audibly said, "I wish I never had sex then!" I'm sure he'll feel better about all this when that sweet baby arrives. She'll probably be happier too. I would not be considering writing separate posts about "The things I hear at Target" (or ya know, some other better name) because I've heard a few more interesting exclamations during shopping trips since.

Speaking of Target, I certainly don't get more excited than my little boy when we go down the frozen food aisles. And, we certainly would not extend our shopping experience to go down those aisles...when we really don't need to. We (or maybe I...Stevie's just starting to catch on) don't zoom down at rapid speed just to watch the lights turn on. What better fun could we have on a blistering hot and humid day in blissful air conditioning? We also would not get bummed when someone has already gone before us, thus ruining the fun of seeing the lights turn on just for us.

In the heat this week, there is no way, I would crank the oven up to bake some cookies. Since I was already making a batch, I figured I would drop some off at the neighbors as a thank you for the ones they gave us when we moved in. I packed Stevie's belongings up to leave, started the car to cool it off before we got in, hiked down the road...Stevie in an umbrella stroller, me pushing with cookies in hand fearing for the cookies lives as they jiggled uncontrollably. I did not wish I had just driven up the street to deliver them safely. We did not get "all" the way there, to find no one home. In fact, they were on vacation. I decided to ring the doorbell a few times anyway because I was not about to have walked "all" the way there for nothing. I gave up, and we jiggled the cookies back home. We were dripping and getting eaten alive by mosquitos when we got back to our door step. Great... I had not locked the house door already, figuring we would be on our way after delivering the cookies. I jiggled Stevie over to the car, turned it off, jiggled back to the front door, through the front porch, dug for my key in my pocket, went to put the key in the knob, and did not watch in utter frustration as the door just creaked open, mockingly, because it hadn't been shut all the way!

All of this would not have happened the week after being hit with bird poop! And Stevie's swing would not be covered in bird poop at the moment either. The birds out here would not be driving me nuts. And that would not be how I end because I've been on here long enough.

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