Thursday, December 16, 2010

A Reflection of 4 Years Ago Today...and Maybe More

I know I've written about our wedding day before and how we've met, but I honestly don't remember how much I've written. I'm sorry if I'm repetitive...afterall, it has been awhile since I've consistently blogged. I blame it on the dead laptop. I'm just not on here much anymore, especially when I have to sit in a metal folding chair! Anyway...

4 years ago today, I married Matt. The ceremony began at 2 (and pretty well on time if I remember correctly)...that's only an hour from typing this. I look outside and remember how it was 50 something degrees that day and sunny. Today, it's cold with snow covering the ground. I was so disappointed to not have snow on our wedding day. Afterall, who gets married in December hoping for 50 degree weather? At least the weather was nice for those who traveled.

As a little girl, I dreamed of a summer wedding, possibly outdoors, with daisies in my bouquet and beautiful yellows and blues. My "wedding dream" hadn't changed that much as I grew older but timing certainly did. I met Matt in the May of 2005. It was a quick meeting after church, you know the story how I was terrified he thought we were being set up because I thought we were (totally not my style), so I stood by my parents after church. I did not want to be cornered alone by some "cupid" waiting to introduce us. My mom went on and on about my "accomplishments," and I sort of added a little more reality to those with my own thoughts. Anyway, after that brief meeting, he left back for Hawaii. I began summer courses, and there were rumors certain letters from a certain man may be headed my dad wouldn't say from who...and well, that man had no idea about such letters. Another story for another time I guess. From what I hear, Matt thought about calling me a lot but never got up the courage until September that year. Boy did he muster up some courage he thought he see I was still living at home, and he left a message on my parents' answering machine for me. (That was one possibility he said he hadn't played out in his head...haha.) From that phone call, our mostly online relationship began (haha...some phone calling too) since he was way out in Hawaii. Sidenote: That is one of the things I admire so much about Matt. I'm not sure I can fit it into one adjective about him, but from the very beginning, he was so upfront with me and my parents and so honest. His intentions were pure and right, and he just had this respectful boldness that showed his serious intentions towards me. I even sort of challenged him on that upfrontness in my own way....and he passed with flying colors. (On our first date we ended up swinging by my parents' house for a bit. I don't know many guys who would be gung-ho about that!) Fast forward to December 14th that year, the day he came home. We started our "courtship" soon thereafter. Talk of marriage didn't take long for it was discussed in early spring. He was ready to get married that summer. I was not. It just felt too soon. But, as you now know, I had likened the idea of a summer wedding, so do we wait till the next summer? That felt like light years away for a young couple in love. I know, I know...most of our generation in this world would be saying that's still pretty soon. What was a girl to do? Well, I surprised Matt, and for some reason this was over the phone, but I felt like he needed to know as soon as I did, and I told him, "I think I'll be ready earlier than next summer. What do you think about December?" I would have a break between courses (I was getting my Master's), and he also would have a break from his classes as he was going back to school as well. Plus, I love Christmas time! In May 2006, we were engaged and set the date of December 16th, 2006. Looking back now, it was perfect timing (and God coordinated the matching dates). It wasn't "too soon," and only the Lord knew then that Matt would be recalled to the military in March and leaving in October. How disappointed and even more stressed I would've been had we not been married yet when he received his orders. That also would've meant less time to spend together as husband and wife before he left.

An outdoor wedding and daisies wouldn't really fit our December day, so we began to build excitement for deep reds and of course, blues (as in Matt's dress blues). I fell in love with a dress that I thought fit well with the wintery feel and would look so nice with Matt's blues. My bouquet of red and white roses would be perfect for the "unity meaning" and go back with history as we began our courtship like the olden days with a bouquet of red roses...and also back in the day, the wedding day bouquet was to be red and white. The timing of a December wedding was blossoming into a perfect and unique idea to me.

Our rehearsal and set up day, however, was a nightmare for me. Matt was gone all day, unintentionally, and I struggled with carrying out our wedding prepartions without him by my side. Among other circumstances, poinsettias filled the church...what to do with those...I can't stand those flowers of death. I still will be forever regretful of my bridesmaid dresses (a wedding is not the best time to try to continue with frugality when it comes to what your friends will not buy online! lesson over). The flower girl dress also turned out differently than I'd hoped. I am disappointed we forgot to blow out the taper candles after lighting the unity candle (which I was afraid would happen...and if you watch the tape, you can see Matt stole my hands away before we could! haha)...does that mean we're still attached to our parents forever? haha "Leave and cleave," my friends, blow out the candles! (lesson 2 over...though I love my parents dearly) And of course we didn't know to unroll the aisle runner in practice so it would be ready to unroll smoothly the day of (because really, who wants to roll it back up after it's been unrolled?). Well, yeah, it only took 15 minutes for my oldest 2 brothers to get it down the aisle with assistance from those in the seats. (lesson 3 over) I also wasn't as careful as I should have been (a distracted bride? no, that never happens) when lifting my gown to go up the steps, and put some tears in the borrowed poofy slip underneath. I felt terrible...and still do. (lesson 4 over) The dress will enivitably be a bit tight...that's the way they seem to make those things...but maybe we should've left the straps (which I loved, "capsleeves" actually) a little looser. They were attached with snaps so if at the last minute I didn't want them, wa-la! Well, almost every time I hugged someone after the wedding, one would pop off! Seriously, hug the bride and part of her dress comes apart?! Thankfully, it was a quick and easy fix, but I had people telling me "that" was supposed to happen later...thanks, blush. (lesson 5 over) And of course there were other mishaps (like cold food, and on and on), but despite all the things that sort of went wrong (it certainly could've been a lot worse), nothing got my panties in a bunch that day. I could've cared less. I noticed most (probably not all, haha), and really smiled or laughed at them as silly memories of our day. Nothing was going to get in the way of me marrying the one I've waited all my life for.

And the good memories...oh the good memories. The way my groom looked at me while walking down the aisle, seriously folks, we should've been in a movie or something. This handsome, strong man in his uniform, had a tender smile and tears running down his cheeks. I believe that was about the first time I had seen him cry. That, I will never forget. The music was beautiful and just what we wanted, the ceremony was way long (sorry to families), but it included every aspect we wanted. Of course, the wedding ended with our kiss...our first kiss. Yup, it was a little awkward having our first one in front of a whole crowd, but most people didn't know it was our first (until after the fact), so that helped me feel better. I still don't regret it though. Matt has it all...every kiss, every hand-hold, every was all saved for him! And that honest, patient man: he respected my wishes (as crazy as they sounded to him at first) and waited till then to kiss me too! We didn't have any dancing at the reception. That was my personal choice, not Matt's. I told him we'd dance later, and we did (he chose the song "Ok" by Chris Rice which became oh so fitting for that first year and beyond). I just always felt uncomfortable watching the bride and groom it's personal and intimate. I don't watch people make-out, why should I watch this? And I am no I didn't want people watching me! I never said I wasn't weird. Even though we didn't have dancing, we did have music. (Most of it was not what we selected...but I'm talking about the good memories now, haha.) My dad brought out that giant project he had been working on, the rocking horse. Matt carried me to the horse for a final ride. As a little girl (possibly dreaming of summer and daisies), I would ride my spring horse with all my might while my dad played the guitar and sang. And so we did (though I rode a bit gentler on that big thing in that big dress) one more time.

Each piece, is just part of our story! The silly and the is all ours. It was a dream come true in so many more regards than the flowers or the setting. I married the man God led to me in His timing, the one I love with all my heart, and to us, it was the most beautiful ceremony and day we could have imagined...and a perfect start for our life together.

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