Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Dear Baby,

Am I really writing that?  Dear Baby?  Your due date is in just over a week, and what a whirlwind this pregnancy has been.

First of all, I love you.  We are all so anxious to meet you.

I found out you were on your way at the end of May.  I was completely shocked.  What a surprise!  I laughed, and I cried.  I just couldn't believe it.  After 2 years of hoping, you were finally on your way.  Your Dad was leaving for Germany at the end of the week, and I wanted to think of a great way to share with him.  I took your brother and sister to Walmart, shared the news with them, and had them pick something out for you.  Lydia picked a little bear with a blue blanket.  They didn't really get it that day, but I couldn't stop smiling.  I didn't tell anyone else all day.  You were my secret to hold onto.  I just kept asking God, "Really?"  I have life in me.  I have you.  I couldn't stop smiling or tearing up.  I was soaking in every precious moment.  It was so hard not to tell Dad, but I wanted to wait for Wednesday.  I had him help me fold the laundry, and in the laundry were big brother and sister shirts, a baby outfit for you, and your little bear.  Oh yeah, and a "pregnant" digital test....just so he would believe me.  Talk about a shock!  He cried.  Yup, your dad cried.  I've got most of it on tape.

You are a miracle.  You are dearly loved.  Your brother and sister adore you.  Stevie asks every day when you're coming.  Lydia drapes herself across my belly, lavishly gifting you with hugs and kisses, telling me every time how much she loves you.  She loves to see you move.  Stevie brings a ball over for you to kick, or he just thinks your burping.  He gives you little pats and will rest his hand on you to feel your strong kicks.  The big booming voice you hear is your dad's.  He says goodbye to you every morning before he leaves for work.

We cannot wait to meet you.  Are you my little boy or my little girl?  Will you look like your brother or your sister?  It almost seems as if I've been holding my breath the last 9 months.  It's still hard to believe you're here, but you are already such a gift.  I cannot wait to exhale as soon as I see your sweet face.  Your Grandma says I've never laughed so much as I have since carrying you.  I'm so thankful for you.  I wish I could express to you the joy you bring to us... already.  I pray I'm a mom who can show you that joy and show you how much I love you for the rest of my life.  Gear up for this crazy family, little one.  We're all waiting with our party hats on!

Love always ...just waiting for the kiss,

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