It could've been much worse.
I really don't feel like writing this, but I know some people are wondering what the story is. Thursday morning, sometime before 5:30, I got up to use the bathroom (I never used to get interrupted sleep 2-3x a night before the pregnancy...and I have a feeling now that it's started, it will never end). I stumbled to the bathroom, and both Matt and I didn't think anything of it. I'm usually still half asleep anyway. As I washed my hands I noticed I felt disconnected...like I was watching someone elses hands under the sink. Whatever. I was tired, so I went back to the bed. As soon as I laid down on my back, my right arm became numb. You know, like when it falls asleep? Well, I hadn't been laying on my arm, in fact, I was just up walking around and it kicked in when I laid down. Normally, I can just shake my hand out and get that tingly feeling to go away. No matter what I did, there was no relief of that sensation. This only lasted a few minutes, and then my lips, the right half of them, got all tingly and numb. Then it spread to the outer parts of my lips to my face on the right side. Matt was on his way out the door for work, and he didn't think much of the numbness. He thought maybe I slept in a funny position. He told me if I had any more problems to call my parents. Well, my tongue got numb. At this point, I started getting nervous...what if it spread to my throat? As soon as I could feel my tongue regularly, I called my parents.
My mom answered, and I did my best to describe what was happening to me. I couldn't get the words out! I stumbled over all my words, repeating them over and over to try to get them out right. This was worrying me and frustrating me...I literally couldn't talk. I felt so jumbled. I waited for my dad to pick me up and tried watching a little tv. It was early, so only the news was on...and my mind couldn't keep up with the words on the screen. I recognized the words, but I couldn't read them. My dad picked me up, and the radio was on. They were talking about politics and mentioned one of the candidates names. I couldn't focus hard enough to know who they were talking about. I got to my parents' and my mom says we're going to the hospital. She hadn't called Matt yet because she didn't know if I wanted to talk with him. Huh? I could not figure out why she was so interested in contacting this Matt...Matt who? I went to the bathroom and realized that Matt was indeed my husband's name then laid on the couch for a few minutes while my parents got ready. Then it hit me! I went to the kitchen where my mom was and started crying...I had forgotten my husband's name! My parents were quite worried but took it in stride not to worry me more. There were a lot of other confusing scenarios that morning, but I'll save you the boring details.
I got to the Emergency Room just after 7am. 2 IV's (I guess the first one was a dud), a CT scan, an EEG, 7 doctors, hundreds of pokes later, they concluded I had a complex migraine due to the hormones from the pregnancy. They were running the gamut of tests to rule out stroke and seizure. I am to see one more neurologist and possibly have an MRI to make sure everything is ok.
I must admit the emergency room isn't my favorite place to be, but I managed to get a few laughs in. I was hooked up to all kinds of monitors and my mom had me breathe differently to see if anything would change. It started beeping when I laughed, and that made me laugh more...so it kept beeping. Then the EEG...they hook you up to like 30 little wires all over your head. My hair was going crazy like it often can, and I was a site! Then they wrapped my head in gauze to hold the the little probes in place so it looked like I had a head injury. The nurse was fun and laughed along with me...telling me what beautiful hair I had. Matt walked in after getting some lunch (the lucky man), and I'm sure my beauty made him fall in love with me all over again!
That was the day. We're hoping that was my first and last migraine!
Friday, October 17, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Has it begun already?
It's a short one!
I just thought I'd share a few of my cravings so far...yes, they have begun, a little bit anyway. Sadly, Taco Bell, my love of fast food, has taken a back seat. I know, the craziness. I am not too happy about this either. You see, it all went down hill one afternoon I couldn't get rid of the hungry-ness. So, I ate a frozen burrito, and ever since that one "snack" I can no longer think about such things anymore.
Anyway...I have craved:
-McDonald's chicken mcnuggets
-hot dogs
-Spaghetti Os with meatballs
I read somewhere you crave the things you lack in your diet or your nutritional needs. Tell me, folks. What nutrients in these foods am I missing? What nutrients are even in these foods? Ok, possibly the protein, but I think it's a stretch. I don't even like hot dogs, but I specifically craved hot dogs with ketchup, mustard, and onions!! Remember that post about the Slim Jim I so delicately ate? I explain my aversion to hot dogs there.
I am happy to report my morning, afternoon, and evening sickness has gone down a lot! Hopefully, it will stay down. I'm sure more highly nutritious cravings are to come! I'm definitely looking forward to the day chocolate sounds much more appealing too! Feel free to share any cravings you've had, or if you haven't, I suppose you could share some healthy snack ideas for me. It looks like I could use them!
I just thought I'd share a few of my cravings so far...yes, they have begun, a little bit anyway. Sadly, Taco Bell, my love of fast food, has taken a back seat. I know, the craziness. I am not too happy about this either. You see, it all went down hill one afternoon I couldn't get rid of the hungry-ness. So, I ate a frozen burrito, and ever since that one "snack" I can no longer think about such things anymore.
Anyway...I have craved:
-McDonald's chicken mcnuggets
-hot dogs
-Spaghetti Os with meatballs
I read somewhere you crave the things you lack in your diet or your nutritional needs. Tell me, folks. What nutrients in these foods am I missing? What nutrients are even in these foods? Ok, possibly the protein, but I think it's a stretch. I don't even like hot dogs, but I specifically craved hot dogs with ketchup, mustard, and onions!! Remember that post about the Slim Jim I so delicately ate? I explain my aversion to hot dogs there.
I am happy to report my morning, afternoon, and evening sickness has gone down a lot! Hopefully, it will stay down. I'm sure more highly nutritious cravings are to come! I'm definitely looking forward to the day chocolate sounds much more appealing too! Feel free to share any cravings you've had, or if you haven't, I suppose you could share some healthy snack ideas for me. It looks like I could use them!
Friday, October 10, 2008
The first look at our little peanut
We had our first ultrasound on Thursday and what a blessing it was to see our little one on the screen. He/She looked like a little peanut. We were able to see and hear the heartbeat...is there anything more incredible than that sight or sound?? As soon as I saw the heartbeat, I have my first hunch at the sex of the baby...but not because of the old wives tale about the rate. The last time I had an ultrasound the doctors were checking for any abnormalities because of my "issues", and though it was good to see "nothing" at the time, how much richer it was this time to see life growing inside me!
In light of this experience, especially for us first-timers, I feel I must share these videos. I have such a love for babies and children and those lives that begin at conception! Listen to Gianna Jessen as she shares her story and so wonderfully and accurately words our need to glorify our Lord and rise up as the men and women He has called us to be for His glory and for the raising of our little ones. I don't begin to do this justice, so please just watch. I hope this moves you as much as it does me.
In light of this experience, especially for us first-timers, I feel I must share these videos. I have such a love for babies and children and those lives that begin at conception! Listen to Gianna Jessen as she shares her story and so wonderfully and accurately words our need to glorify our Lord and rise up as the men and women He has called us to be for His glory and for the raising of our little ones. I don't begin to do this justice, so please just watch. I hope this moves you as much as it does me.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
"Oh, the Places You'll Go" Part 3
*Here's another very long one, but the end of a series...for now!
Yes, Matt is finally home! If you missed the homecoming pictures, feel free to take a little birdwalk to Homecoming #1 and Homecoming #2. Tonight on the news I watched as more soldiers were reunited with their families today, and it just swells my heart with joy.
Oh, and this post really hasn't taken me 2 weeks to get in here...the last one was dated wrong. I guess since I started it one day and came back to finish it days later it published it as being the 16th...really, I think it was like the 26th, but whatever.
So where to begin? There has been some adjustment. When he first came home, I had to get used to sharing the bed again. Before we were married, it was no issue. I was used to sleeping like a straight board on a twin bed. We got married and had a queen sized bed, and I got lost. What do people do with king sized beds? Apparently, while he was gone, I sprawled out. Actually, I think I slept diagonally with my head over on his side and my feet on mine to try to be "closer" to him. He came home, and I didn't sleep so well the first few nights. Now, he started work and leaves early in the morning, and I can't fall asleep again after he gets up. I guess I'm a creature of habit. These adjustments are fine by me...they mean he's home! As I said, Matt started work again. He's at a different company building things for NASA. We think it's pretty cool, but don't ask me about specifics, it's over my head. I must admit I choked up the morning he left for his first day. Maybe it's silly, but honestly, I had to convince myself he was coming home that afternoon...that he wouldn't be gone for months. I taught the same day, so I didn't have much time to myself, which was good.
Maybe you're wondering about that grocery store incident? Well, I pretty much spoiled it at the end of the last post, but I'll share. We went grocery shopping a couple weeks ago. The store was crazy, as this particular store usually is, and there are often people who may not be as considerate as they could be. I will swallow those words in a moment. Matt was pushing the cart...he likes doing that, and I had the list in hand. We were immediately stuck behind an, ohhh, 8 year old boy who had a cart in the middle of the aisle, rocking it forward and back but staying quite stationary, quite in the way. We finally manuevered around him. Matt rolled his eyes at me a bit, but I found it quite funny. Literally, minutes later, Matt's mood must've changed because we found ourselves in the empty, wide aisle that contains the paper products. His boyish self sprang forth and with a running start, he jumped on the back of the cart. It turned out of control to the right (don't carts always turn to the right, or squeal, or something?) and slammed into the toilet paper shelf with a huge bang. He was moving I tell you! I was doubled over in hysterics trying to keep myself from having an accident. He on the other hand, was red-faced. After fits of laughter, I rolled my eyes at him and said, between more bouts of laughter, "and you were annoyed by that little boy!" At least he had control of his cart. I love that man, even when he's silly. Our outings usually contain some sort of unplanned activity. I guess you had to be there.
Other news on the homefront: We moved! I will post pictures later. We moved out of that dark, dank, basement!! This has been a long time coming, and we are so blessed with our "new digs" as my brother calls it. Though we don't have millipedes to keep us company any more, we have a one-eyed black cat that sits at our window and "stares" at us, or winks at us, and meows. Moving right along, we have a large living room and kitchen downstairs. Yes, we have stairs! We're thrilled. Then we have 2 bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs. We love going "downstairs" for breakfast in the morning! This apartment is very nice...I even thought it was too nice for us when we looked at it. Countless things happened for the apartment to still be available for us, and we're thankful. I even started decorating a little bit. This is a must have safety device when Matt's lifting things above my head...can you blame me after the grocery store incident? Just kidding!
(Yes, I'm still in a youth size helmet, so it's flowery).
Family helped us move, and we had fun giving the grand tour. This is our bedroom, and this 2nd bedroom is going to be our office for starters....BUT THEN:
We found out the morning we moved!! Let me tell you, I think I only got 2 hours of sleep the night before. I was so excited to move, and I was so hopeful to have news to share. People tell me I'm real on this blog, and this just may prove it. This is how I look, at 6:30 on a Saturday morning, after 2 hours of sleep, just finding out I'm pregnant:
We are thrilled!!! This is such a miracle and seems to have the Lord's timing written all over it (that's what Matt says :). I went in for some early bloodwork because I had a history of low hormones. We had tried a year ago, I went for testing, and the Dr. was basically telling me I was pre-menopausal, and I'm only 24. I went the herbal route to try to get back on track. We are just so overjoyed! And get this! We found out our news exactly one year to the day since Matt's fairwell get-together last year, more of a sad time. That was also the day my mom gave me that crib cover to embroider....yeah, maybe that will be done by the time our child graduates from high school! ;) Our due date, as of right now (I think it may change a bit), is May 22. Well, Matt and I met, May 22, 2005. Isn't that cool? We were engaged May 20, 2006, and so on. No, these dates certainly weren't planned by us. Wow, I feel like I could write a book. So, we know it's early to some people to be sharing this news, but we need to make our praise known to the Lord and what He is doing. My early test results came back great! We would greatly appreciate continued prayers. I'm feeling pretty nauseaus and tired these days, but I take it as a good sign. So, yes, the frequent bathroom trips have kicked in, and thus, my laughter at the grocery store wasn't helping things. We are so excited to welcome our first little one into the family!
So, I'm sure we're not done going places. In some ways, this is still pretty much the beginning. Thanks for sharing the journey this far.
Yes, Matt is finally home! If you missed the homecoming pictures, feel free to take a little birdwalk to Homecoming #1 and Homecoming #2. Tonight on the news I watched as more soldiers were reunited with their families today, and it just swells my heart with joy.
Oh, and this post really hasn't taken me 2 weeks to get in here...the last one was dated wrong. I guess since I started it one day and came back to finish it days later it published it as being the 16th...really, I think it was like the 26th, but whatever.
So where to begin? There has been some adjustment. When he first came home, I had to get used to sharing the bed again. Before we were married, it was no issue. I was used to sleeping like a straight board on a twin bed. We got married and had a queen sized bed, and I got lost. What do people do with king sized beds? Apparently, while he was gone, I sprawled out. Actually, I think I slept diagonally with my head over on his side and my feet on mine to try to be "closer" to him. He came home, and I didn't sleep so well the first few nights. Now, he started work and leaves early in the morning, and I can't fall asleep again after he gets up. I guess I'm a creature of habit. These adjustments are fine by me...they mean he's home! As I said, Matt started work again. He's at a different company building things for NASA. We think it's pretty cool, but don't ask me about specifics, it's over my head. I must admit I choked up the morning he left for his first day. Maybe it's silly, but honestly, I had to convince myself he was coming home that afternoon...that he wouldn't be gone for months. I taught the same day, so I didn't have much time to myself, which was good.
Maybe you're wondering about that grocery store incident? Well, I pretty much spoiled it at the end of the last post, but I'll share. We went grocery shopping a couple weeks ago. The store was crazy, as this particular store usually is, and there are often people who may not be as considerate as they could be. I will swallow those words in a moment. Matt was pushing the cart...he likes doing that, and I had the list in hand. We were immediately stuck behind an, ohhh, 8 year old boy who had a cart in the middle of the aisle, rocking it forward and back but staying quite stationary, quite in the way. We finally manuevered around him. Matt rolled his eyes at me a bit, but I found it quite funny. Literally, minutes later, Matt's mood must've changed because we found ourselves in the empty, wide aisle that contains the paper products. His boyish self sprang forth and with a running start, he jumped on the back of the cart. It turned out of control to the right (don't carts always turn to the right, or squeal, or something?) and slammed into the toilet paper shelf with a huge bang. He was moving I tell you! I was doubled over in hysterics trying to keep myself from having an accident. He on the other hand, was red-faced. After fits of laughter, I rolled my eyes at him and said, between more bouts of laughter, "and you were annoyed by that little boy!" At least he had control of his cart. I love that man, even when he's silly. Our outings usually contain some sort of unplanned activity. I guess you had to be there.
Other news on the homefront: We moved! I will post pictures later. We moved out of that dark, dank, basement!! This has been a long time coming, and we are so blessed with our "new digs" as my brother calls it. Though we don't have millipedes to keep us company any more, we have a one-eyed black cat that sits at our window and "stares" at us, or winks at us, and meows. Moving right along, we have a large living room and kitchen downstairs. Yes, we have stairs! We're thrilled. Then we have 2 bedrooms and a bathroom upstairs. We love going "downstairs" for breakfast in the morning! This apartment is very nice...I even thought it was too nice for us when we looked at it. Countless things happened for the apartment to still be available for us, and we're thankful. I even started decorating a little bit. This is a must have safety device when Matt's lifting things above my head...can you blame me after the grocery store incident? Just kidding!
(Yes, I'm still in a youth size helmet, so it's flowery).
Family helped us move, and we had fun giving the grand tour. This is our bedroom, and this 2nd bedroom is going to be our office for starters....BUT THEN:
We found out the morning we moved!! Let me tell you, I think I only got 2 hours of sleep the night before. I was so excited to move, and I was so hopeful to have news to share. People tell me I'm real on this blog, and this just may prove it. This is how I look, at 6:30 on a Saturday morning, after 2 hours of sleep, just finding out I'm pregnant:
We are thrilled!!! This is such a miracle and seems to have the Lord's timing written all over it (that's what Matt says :). I went in for some early bloodwork because I had a history of low hormones. We had tried a year ago, I went for testing, and the Dr. was basically telling me I was pre-menopausal, and I'm only 24. I went the herbal route to try to get back on track. We are just so overjoyed! And get this! We found out our news exactly one year to the day since Matt's fairwell get-together last year, more of a sad time. That was also the day my mom gave me that crib cover to embroider....yeah, maybe that will be done by the time our child graduates from high school! ;) Our due date, as of right now (I think it may change a bit), is May 22. Well, Matt and I met, May 22, 2005. Isn't that cool? We were engaged May 20, 2006, and so on. No, these dates certainly weren't planned by us. Wow, I feel like I could write a book. So, we know it's early to some people to be sharing this news, but we need to make our praise known to the Lord and what He is doing. My early test results came back great! We would greatly appreciate continued prayers. I'm feeling pretty nauseaus and tired these days, but I take it as a good sign. So, yes, the frequent bathroom trips have kicked in, and thus, my laughter at the grocery store wasn't helping things. We are so excited to welcome our first little one into the family!
So, I'm sure we're not done going places. In some ways, this is still pretty much the beginning. Thanks for sharing the journey this far.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
"Oh, the Places You'll Go" Part 2
I have been pretty much procrastinating writing this "part 2" post. I think mostly because it was such a difficult time for me, and I just want to focus on the new, exciting things happening in our lives right now. There will be a part 3, and I will get to those new and exciting things there...I think. Nevertheless, I think it's important to note where we've been and come from, and I think sometimes those memories can make me even more thankful and humbled by the glimpses I catch of how much our God really loves us.
Matt deployed a couple days after Christmas. He spent the deployment in Japan, on a carrier, in the Philippines, and in Thailand. He was even supposed to help out with that whole Burma clean-up, but they never allowed them in. I was at home, spending much of my time with family. I missed him so much. I struggled with the idea of how to be a good wife so far away from him. There were discouraging times like the weeks that would go by without a word from him, or the times we could talk and his phone would disconnect, or the static was so loud I couldn't even hear him. There's also that 3 second delay where we keep interrupting each other (not on purpose of course) and then have to repeat what we said...wasting those precious and expensive minutes. Yes, there were so many things that felt like it couldn't possibly get any more annoying or difficult. We never did get that power of attorney straightened out, and I was on the phone constantly about bills and was told they couldn't talk to me because Matt's name was on them. Then after days and hours of phone calls, I'd get frustrated and burst out, "I'm paying the bills so you better talk with me!" This time apart didn't always bring out the best in me.
I have a funny story actually about one of the numerous phone calls I made about an error. This time, it was just after Christmas. I flew home that morning and my family was celebrating with gifts that evening. I had gotten my dad a new prepaid cell phone that he could really use. I ordered it online and got a great deal. That evening before the exchange, I opened up some of the Christmas gifts I had ordered and had sent to my parents'(being so far away, many gifts were ordered online) to check to make sure everything was correct. I struggled with opening his box, and let's face it, I was burying strong emotions to this point. I hated being home. I hated being away from Matt, and this was only day 1 of this stint. I let out grunts and frustrations at the "stupid box" and burst into tears (up in my room of course...away from everybody) when I saw what was inside. A METALLIC HOT PINK phone! This was for my dad! I don't know about your dads, but my dad wouldn't be so thrilled with a hot pink phone. Ohh, I laugh at that now, but it sent me over at the time. So, my dad got a hot pink phone that Christmas until I spent several hours arguing with the service lady that the phone I ordered was red...etc. etc. Finally, they sent him a black phone...which turned out to be silver. Whatever! At least it wasn't pink!
Of course we all remember the flood in my apartment I experienced. If you need refreshers on my broken toilet and water filled rooms, you can read about that here and here, oh and... here. I spent the winter in our apartment quite cold. Our utility bills were out of this world, and I tried what seemed like everything to keep it reasonable. I shivered through the cold northeast winter with our heat set at 62...with lots of blankets and a space heater at my feet. I began subbing and to be honest, I was nervous. I wanted so much for Matt to be able to pray with me for my first day and be an encouragement, but that was a time we weren't able to talk for a couple weeks, and he didn't even know I started that new endeavor yet. I walked in that first day thinking, if I can make it through this deployment, I can make it through the day with first graders...and "of course," it was one of those days there weren't any lesson plans left for me. I'm telling you, I laugh about these things now, but boy, I wasn't laughing at the time. My cousin, Chrissy, often joked with me, calling me Job. She was usually my comic relief and always helped me put things into perspective. There were so many people who helped me through this time. My cousin, Bethany, allowed me to live the college life again over several weekends to give me an opportunity not to spend some evenings alone. I had phone conversations with my best friend Laura, who's boyfriend happens to be in the Navy, so we have even more in common. My family gave me things to do (even things I wasn't particularly thrilled to...hmm, taking care of the animals), and I could really go on and on about the people close to me I needed and were there.
How about some of the good things while he was gone? I had Matt's ring around my neck.
He had a pillowcase I made. Yes, I'm just an amateur. Yes, it needed ironing. *Hence that lower score on that 60's wife quiz* What can I say? It was a rush to the finish line. I should've just taken another picture of it all fresh...but we moved...I have no idea where it is right now.
He used it pretty much every night...He only didn't when it was in the laundry. Here's proof on his little rack on the carrier:
I asked if he ever was made fun of for it. He said some guys would start to read it, sort of sarcastically, but each one would fade off, sort of back down once they realized what it said. There certainly is power in His Word. Some of them even wished their wives made something like that for them. The verse on it was Psalm 4:8, "In peace I will lie down and sleep, for You alone, O Lord, will keep me safe." I also had Isaiah 61 on the back with a little acorn. We talk a lot about being oaks of righteousness. On the sides, I embroidered his nicknames...silly, I know. I don't think any of the guys started calling him Bubba though.
Another wonderful thing during this time: Skype and webcam!! Whenever Matt had "real" Internet, like in California and a few occasions in other countries, we were able to hear and see each other!!! Sometimes we would talk in the wee hours of the morning for me because he was often 12-14 hours different time-wise. I guess I'll clarify "real Internet." Real Internet, as per Webster..or Beckster...is when Matt had the capability to check yahoo email, the blog, use Skype, and just surf the web in general. Fake Internet is when Matt had the capability to only check his military email and that's it, which was mostly while he was on the boat. Because he traveled to so many different places, he was on and off the boat several times. After a couple of times, he lost access to his fake Internet because the fake Internet did not recognize his username and password...or whatever. Thus, the weeks of no communication period sometimes. I know, I have a lot to be thankful for...his location/s for deployment and the amount of time we were able to talk to each other. It just still wasn't an easy thing...for me anyway.
Pete and Laurel found out they were expecting Annabeth and had Annabeth all while Matt was gone. Remember how I chased after her balloons in the swamp?
Also during the deployment, I started this blog. I think it was so good since I had sort of stopped journaling for awhile. Question to those who journal: What do you do with all those used journals? I have several already, and I'm only 24. So, I figured the blog saves space...and is so much more fun. Does blogger give the opportunity to print these into little books? That would be cool...especially if down the road they can this whole thing and our entries are lost. Anyway, I "met" some neat, neat people through all this blogging stuff. I probably spent more hours on here than I should've, but I had a whole support and prayer group right through here. How cool is that? I was able to read how other Christian military wives handle the stresses and learn from them. Heather's husband was stationed out in Okinawa when Matt was deployed over there. I can't tell you how encouraged I was to find her blog, and start commenting and emailing back and forth! It was so huge to me to have an older sister in Christ who was living right where my husband was for much of his deployment! I have never met her in person but am so grateful for our friendship, especially during that difficult time. I know her husband was an encouragement to mine as well. I'm a little jealous Matt got to meet the family ;), but it was so wonderful Matt was able to connect with others for fellowship and worship. If you didn't catch their meeting...it's here!
I think that's all I have for that time now. Stay tuned, because I promise, we have more blog worthy material since Matt has come home! Glimpse: Grocery store accident: Matt crashes cart into aisle shelf at 20 miles per hour, leaving wife who of course is in need of restroom, doubled over laughing, trying to keep from causing another accident.
Matt deployed a couple days after Christmas. He spent the deployment in Japan, on a carrier, in the Philippines, and in Thailand. He was even supposed to help out with that whole Burma clean-up, but they never allowed them in. I was at home, spending much of my time with family. I missed him so much. I struggled with the idea of how to be a good wife so far away from him. There were discouraging times like the weeks that would go by without a word from him, or the times we could talk and his phone would disconnect, or the static was so loud I couldn't even hear him. There's also that 3 second delay where we keep interrupting each other (not on purpose of course) and then have to repeat what we said...wasting those precious and expensive minutes. Yes, there were so many things that felt like it couldn't possibly get any more annoying or difficult. We never did get that power of attorney straightened out, and I was on the phone constantly about bills and was told they couldn't talk to me because Matt's name was on them. Then after days and hours of phone calls, I'd get frustrated and burst out, "I'm paying the bills so you better talk with me!" This time apart didn't always bring out the best in me.
I have a funny story actually about one of the numerous phone calls I made about an error. This time, it was just after Christmas. I flew home that morning and my family was celebrating with gifts that evening. I had gotten my dad a new prepaid cell phone that he could really use. I ordered it online and got a great deal. That evening before the exchange, I opened up some of the Christmas gifts I had ordered and had sent to my parents'(being so far away, many gifts were ordered online) to check to make sure everything was correct. I struggled with opening his box, and let's face it, I was burying strong emotions to this point. I hated being home. I hated being away from Matt, and this was only day 1 of this stint. I let out grunts and frustrations at the "stupid box" and burst into tears (up in my room of course...away from everybody) when I saw what was inside. A METALLIC HOT PINK phone! This was for my dad! I don't know about your dads, but my dad wouldn't be so thrilled with a hot pink phone. Ohh, I laugh at that now, but it sent me over at the time. So, my dad got a hot pink phone that Christmas until I spent several hours arguing with the service lady that the phone I ordered was red...etc. etc. Finally, they sent him a black phone...which turned out to be silver. Whatever! At least it wasn't pink!
Of course we all remember the flood in my apartment I experienced. If you need refreshers on my broken toilet and water filled rooms, you can read about that here and here, oh and... here. I spent the winter in our apartment quite cold. Our utility bills were out of this world, and I tried what seemed like everything to keep it reasonable. I shivered through the cold northeast winter with our heat set at 62...with lots of blankets and a space heater at my feet. I began subbing and to be honest, I was nervous. I wanted so much for Matt to be able to pray with me for my first day and be an encouragement, but that was a time we weren't able to talk for a couple weeks, and he didn't even know I started that new endeavor yet. I walked in that first day thinking, if I can make it through this deployment, I can make it through the day with first graders...and "of course," it was one of those days there weren't any lesson plans left for me. I'm telling you, I laugh about these things now, but boy, I wasn't laughing at the time. My cousin, Chrissy, often joked with me, calling me Job. She was usually my comic relief and always helped me put things into perspective. There were so many people who helped me through this time. My cousin, Bethany, allowed me to live the college life again over several weekends to give me an opportunity not to spend some evenings alone. I had phone conversations with my best friend Laura, who's boyfriend happens to be in the Navy, so we have even more in common. My family gave me things to do (even things I wasn't particularly thrilled to...hmm, taking care of the animals), and I could really go on and on about the people close to me I needed and were there.
How about some of the good things while he was gone? I had Matt's ring around my neck.
He had a pillowcase I made. Yes, I'm just an amateur. Yes, it needed ironing. *Hence that lower score on that 60's wife quiz* What can I say? It was a rush to the finish line. I should've just taken another picture of it all fresh...but we moved...I have no idea where it is right now.
He used it pretty much every night...He only didn't when it was in the laundry. Here's proof on his little rack on the carrier:
I asked if he ever was made fun of for it. He said some guys would start to read it, sort of sarcastically, but each one would fade off, sort of back down once they realized what it said. There certainly is power in His Word. Some of them even wished their wives made something like that for them. The verse on it was Psalm 4:8, "In peace I will lie down and sleep, for You alone, O Lord, will keep me safe." I also had Isaiah 61 on the back with a little acorn. We talk a lot about being oaks of righteousness. On the sides, I embroidered his nicknames...silly, I know. I don't think any of the guys started calling him Bubba though.
Another wonderful thing during this time: Skype and webcam!! Whenever Matt had "real" Internet, like in California and a few occasions in other countries, we were able to hear and see each other!!! Sometimes we would talk in the wee hours of the morning for me because he was often 12-14 hours different time-wise. I guess I'll clarify "real Internet." Real Internet, as per Webster..or Beckster...is when Matt had the capability to check yahoo email, the blog, use Skype, and just surf the web in general. Fake Internet is when Matt had the capability to only check his military email and that's it, which was mostly while he was on the boat. Because he traveled to so many different places, he was on and off the boat several times. After a couple of times, he lost access to his fake Internet because the fake Internet did not recognize his username and password...or whatever. Thus, the weeks of no communication period sometimes. I know, I have a lot to be thankful for...his location/s for deployment and the amount of time we were able to talk to each other. It just still wasn't an easy thing...for me anyway.
Pete and Laurel found out they were expecting Annabeth and had Annabeth all while Matt was gone. Remember how I chased after her balloons in the swamp?
Also during the deployment, I started this blog. I think it was so good since I had sort of stopped journaling for awhile. Question to those who journal: What do you do with all those used journals? I have several already, and I'm only 24. So, I figured the blog saves space...and is so much more fun. Does blogger give the opportunity to print these into little books? That would be cool...especially if down the road they can this whole thing and our entries are lost. Anyway, I "met" some neat, neat people through all this blogging stuff. I probably spent more hours on here than I should've, but I had a whole support and prayer group right through here. How cool is that? I was able to read how other Christian military wives handle the stresses and learn from them. Heather's husband was stationed out in Okinawa when Matt was deployed over there. I can't tell you how encouraged I was to find her blog, and start commenting and emailing back and forth! It was so huge to me to have an older sister in Christ who was living right where my husband was for much of his deployment! I have never met her in person but am so grateful for our friendship, especially during that difficult time. I know her husband was an encouragement to mine as well. I'm a little jealous Matt got to meet the family ;), but it was so wonderful Matt was able to connect with others for fellowship and worship. If you didn't catch their meeting...it's here!
I think that's all I have for that time now. Stay tuned, because I promise, we have more blog worthy material since Matt has come home! Glimpse: Grocery store accident: Matt crashes cart into aisle shelf at 20 miles per hour, leaving wife who of course is in need of restroom, doubled over laughing, trying to keep from causing another accident.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
"Oh, the Places You'll Go" Part 1
These posts are probably going to be long (when are mine ever short?)...and they are more for my heart to remember where we've been over the course of this "year-ish," but I'm sharing anyway, just in case you're interested in a glimpse of our young married life.
This is the song I referred to way back in post #1. We felt like it was a good theme, since we were going for a crazy ride this year. Yes, we were moved out of our comfort zone into a plan greater than ours. We were stretched and have grown...
I guess I'm going to start back at the beginning. So, a little more than a year and a half ago (about 19 months ago), Matt and I were married (December 16, 2006!). In March, Matt got that packet in the mail notifying him that he had been recalled into the Marine Corps for 1 year. Matt served 5 years active duty and had the final 3 years of inactive duty to wrap up. He was a little over 1 year into his "inactive duty" stint when he was recalled. In April, he was sent to Kansas City to get more information and another set of his orders. That's when we knew October was looming around the corner. I am thankful Matt did not have to leave right away, but I must admit March to October was at times, a dreadfully long time.
On October 21st, around 8am, I said goodbye to Matt at the airport. It was a difficult thing, yet a comforting thing, to have so many family members there. I was so thankful to get an access pass to the gate to see Matt off. I had no idea that was a possibility until Matt checked in, and the sweet lady at the counter offered it to me. I about let down my flood gates right there in thankfulness. That gave us a few minutes of alone time before he boarded that plane. Ugh, those feelings come up just remembering that time. We don't have any pictures of that day, and honestly, I'm kind of glad we don't. You see, when troops are recalled, in the Marine Corps. anyway, their orders are written unaccompanied whether the troops are married or not. Had his orders been accompanied, you better believe I would've been on that plane too! The first day was not an easy one. In fact, it twists my stomach just thinking back. I forced myself to go to Sunday School and Church, but to be completely honest, I just wanted to be alone. Throughout his time away, I struggled with the concept of home. I felt a sort of homesick no matter where I was...at our apartment, at my parents' house, in the car...and my apartment wasn't particularly comforting. Despite the fact that it's a basement etc. etc. ;), everything reminded me of Matt. We are best friends, husband and wife, and as long as I'm with him...I find comfort. I think this time definitely enhanced my perspective that this world is not our home. Just as I longed to be close to Matt, the Lord longs to be close to us. Just as I waited for a phone call or email, the Lord waits for our communication with Him. Just as I waited for the day to meet Matt again, so we ought to long for the time we will be in heaven with our Lord and Savior.
In November, I was able to make it out for a long weekend during the Marine Corps Birthday Ball. We ended up going to the wrong ball at first, but made it to the right one just in time. We didn't stay for the dancing (of course), but I must say, it was an experience, and I thoroughly enjoyed the cheesecake! Because Matt's orders were unaccompanied, he and the rest of the recalled guys stayed in the barracks. Barely scraping enough money together to make it out (Matt's pay was a little messed up for "awhile"), ...can you keep a secret? I ended up staying in those little lovely's too. It wasn't exactly a honeymoon suite, but I was able to be with Matt. My birthday was the next week, so we celebrated early with a little ice cream cake! I flew home, and my birthday came and so did some red roses and a special note. Thanksgiving was a tough one...we have never actually spent a Thanksgiving together because of different circumstances. I'm thinking this year's will be really special!
December trudged in, but we were blessed. Family and friends helped make it possible for me to fly out the 5th and stay until the day after Christmas (which ended up being 2 days after Christmas due to weather delays)! That means, for me to come out, we needed a hotel room. I wasn't going to stay in his room again, especially for that long and on days he worked. We also needed a rental car to get around (because Matt was unable to bring a vehicle to base). All of these things really add up, especially after a flight during the holidays. Those family and friends, and the Lord's grace, literally made it happen! We had such a wonderful time and were able to celebrate our first wedding anniversary (that was so important to me)...at Balboa Park. We also exchanged our Christmas gifts that day because I wanted to enjoy the time and not be an emotional wreck because I was to leave the next day. We went to Disneyland...the first time EVER for either of us (to Disneyland or Disney World). We also visited the San Diego Zoo (so cool) and Wild Animal Park. We found a church we really enjoyed and met a couple who were originally from our little town and my college. They gave us a grand tour of San Diego and took us out for many lunches. We had to make several changes to my flight to stay the length I was able to, and finally, on December 26th we made our way to the airport again for my overnight flight home. When we arrived, we saw that my flight had been cancelled. Because I was not notified, the airline gave me some special niceties to make my next flight home more comfortable...which was scheduled for the next morning! Woohoo! I was so happy for more time with Matt, but it only left us with about 5 more hours together away from the airport. Back to the barracks we went (and his tiny single bed) because we had already checked out of the on-base hotel, and let's face it, we didn't want to spend 70something bucks for 5 hours. Matt was able to see me off each time through his military clearance, and I made my difficult flight home. Matt flew out to his destination the next day.
...
This is the song I referred to way back in post #1. We felt like it was a good theme, since we were going for a crazy ride this year. Yes, we were moved out of our comfort zone into a plan greater than ours. We were stretched and have grown...
I guess I'm going to start back at the beginning. So, a little more than a year and a half ago (about 19 months ago), Matt and I were married (December 16, 2006!). In March, Matt got that packet in the mail notifying him that he had been recalled into the Marine Corps for 1 year. Matt served 5 years active duty and had the final 3 years of inactive duty to wrap up. He was a little over 1 year into his "inactive duty" stint when he was recalled. In April, he was sent to Kansas City to get more information and another set of his orders. That's when we knew October was looming around the corner. I am thankful Matt did not have to leave right away, but I must admit March to October was at times, a dreadfully long time.
On October 21st, around 8am, I said goodbye to Matt at the airport. It was a difficult thing, yet a comforting thing, to have so many family members there. I was so thankful to get an access pass to the gate to see Matt off. I had no idea that was a possibility until Matt checked in, and the sweet lady at the counter offered it to me. I about let down my flood gates right there in thankfulness. That gave us a few minutes of alone time before he boarded that plane. Ugh, those feelings come up just remembering that time. We don't have any pictures of that day, and honestly, I'm kind of glad we don't. You see, when troops are recalled, in the Marine Corps. anyway, their orders are written unaccompanied whether the troops are married or not. Had his orders been accompanied, you better believe I would've been on that plane too! The first day was not an easy one. In fact, it twists my stomach just thinking back. I forced myself to go to Sunday School and Church, but to be completely honest, I just wanted to be alone. Throughout his time away, I struggled with the concept of home. I felt a sort of homesick no matter where I was...at our apartment, at my parents' house, in the car...and my apartment wasn't particularly comforting. Despite the fact that it's a basement etc. etc. ;), everything reminded me of Matt. We are best friends, husband and wife, and as long as I'm with him...I find comfort. I think this time definitely enhanced my perspective that this world is not our home. Just as I longed to be close to Matt, the Lord longs to be close to us. Just as I waited for a phone call or email, the Lord waits for our communication with Him. Just as I waited for the day to meet Matt again, so we ought to long for the time we will be in heaven with our Lord and Savior.
In November, I was able to make it out for a long weekend during the Marine Corps Birthday Ball. We ended up going to the wrong ball at first, but made it to the right one just in time. We didn't stay for the dancing (of course), but I must say, it was an experience, and I thoroughly enjoyed the cheesecake! Because Matt's orders were unaccompanied, he and the rest of the recalled guys stayed in the barracks. Barely scraping enough money together to make it out (Matt's pay was a little messed up for "awhile"), ...can you keep a secret? I ended up staying in those little lovely's too. It wasn't exactly a honeymoon suite, but I was able to be with Matt. My birthday was the next week, so we celebrated early with a little ice cream cake! I flew home, and my birthday came and so did some red roses and a special note. Thanksgiving was a tough one...we have never actually spent a Thanksgiving together because of different circumstances. I'm thinking this year's will be really special!
December trudged in, but we were blessed. Family and friends helped make it possible for me to fly out the 5th and stay until the day after Christmas (which ended up being 2 days after Christmas due to weather delays)! That means, for me to come out, we needed a hotel room. I wasn't going to stay in his room again, especially for that long and on days he worked. We also needed a rental car to get around (because Matt was unable to bring a vehicle to base). All of these things really add up, especially after a flight during the holidays. Those family and friends, and the Lord's grace, literally made it happen! We had such a wonderful time and were able to celebrate our first wedding anniversary (that was so important to me)...at Balboa Park. We also exchanged our Christmas gifts that day because I wanted to enjoy the time and not be an emotional wreck because I was to leave the next day. We went to Disneyland...the first time EVER for either of us (to Disneyland or Disney World). We also visited the San Diego Zoo (so cool) and Wild Animal Park. We found a church we really enjoyed and met a couple who were originally from our little town and my college. They gave us a grand tour of San Diego and took us out for many lunches. We had to make several changes to my flight to stay the length I was able to, and finally, on December 26th we made our way to the airport again for my overnight flight home. When we arrived, we saw that my flight had been cancelled. Because I was not notified, the airline gave me some special niceties to make my next flight home more comfortable...which was scheduled for the next morning! Woohoo! I was so happy for more time with Matt, but it only left us with about 5 more hours together away from the airport. Back to the barracks we went (and his tiny single bed) because we had already checked out of the on-base hotel, and let's face it, we didn't want to spend 70something bucks for 5 hours. Matt was able to see me off each time through his military clearance, and I made my difficult flight home. Matt flew out to his destination the next day.
...
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