"Ceese"

Stevie is starting to gain a bigger vocabulary much to our delight. The word building has been a bit of a slow go and frustrations (and temper tantrums, ugh) resulted from him not being able to communicate.

We finally got the word "please" down a few weeks ago. "Ceese." (Which sounds very similiar, umm almost identical, to his version of "keys.") I need to get that on camera because it's so sweet. The boy loves 3-2-1 Penguins, and he'll grab a video tape (yes, I said a video tape) and carry it over to me indicating he'd like to watch it. (Is any other mom ready for summer weather? He would watch these videos all day if he could.) If he hasn't said "Ceese" I remind him..."You would like to watch this, please?" He reached a stubborn stage quickly and would refuse to say please. So, no video, which resulted in an unhappy boy. I would try and try to get him to say it...I know he knows! Well, then he started saying it again, and we'd get all excited and yell, "Yay! You said 'please'!" give him high 5's, and just live it up, and pop the video in with great enthusiasm. He loved it.

And so the other day, Stevie brought over his beloved video tape wanting to watch. I waited for the magic word. Silence. So, I said, "Please?" Stevie's response: "Yay!!" and clapping and joyful dances, congratulating his mother on a job well done.

Sigh. One day, he'll get it.

Post Overload?

You may or may not have noticed a lot of posts have been published all of the sudden recently. I have this habit of starting posts, and then they sit as drafts unpublished. Sometimes, they are waiting to be finished, and often, they are just waiting for me to hit that publish button. I don't know what it is. I guess I just wonder why anyone would want to read most of them. And some of my posts are just pretty personal, and I'm hesitant to let that out. But, then I need to remember this blog is more for me than anyone else. I need to record these moments. I want to remember these times...the good and the bad and how far we've come. I could just keep a journal, but I think I'd be even worse at finishing entries. So, I keep this public...and if others are encouraged or get a chuckle out of my life, well, that's some good icing on the cake I guess. So, I'm a real girl, a real wife, and a real mom...learning as I go. If you're still sharing the journey with me, thank you! Oh, and if you're wondering, I'm now 35 weeks pregnant with #2! I'm in nesting mode and a little frazzled. I'll try to be back soon!

Boyness in the House

A glimpse of what's been happening in this house of boys (at least for now)...pretty much what you'd rather not know.

Confession time to my husband:
Confession #1: Stevie grabbed your toothbrush this morning....and used it. (The boy loves toothbrushes.)

Confession #2: Umm, I was glad he didn't use mine.

Awful? Matt laughed...he didn't really care...as I suspected. I don't like sharing straws with my husband. I'm not even thrilled with 2 straws in the same cup. (I have more issues I could go on about.) Boys (yes, I'm generalizing here...good or bad) just aren't as grossed out by things as girls (or me anyway). Let's continue with this theme.

My warrior boy discovered a new toy today and was running around the upstairs with it...briefly (aka, just until Mommy saw and let out a "Nooo!"). He was happy as could be with the... plunger! He was so close to sticking his face right in it too. (He likes to try to peek through things.) Gross!! This large, pregnant mama raced over to him pretty quickly! We'll find new things to "slay the dragons" with.

I still have to sometimes keep Stevie's hands away when I'm trying to change him....he just has an itchy bottom I guess! When he walks from his room to the bathroom for his shower (we don't have a bath tub...poor kid), he will hold my hand or dad's (to keep him focused on the destination without a diaper on), and his other hand is usually scratching his bare behind. He chats the whole way. Maybe it's a thing only a mom can find funny and cute.

He pulled an empty container out of the bathroom garbage, and I quickly exchanged it for a container not in the garbage. He was completely content with this...and when he was done, he threw that container away too. Unfortunately, it wasn't to be thrown away. I guess he thought that was where I got his new "toy." No, mommy does not get toys for you from the garbage! (Ok, ok, sometimes we find a cool toy on the side of the road...or your basketball hoop in a recycling bin, but that's different!)

When I sweep our floors, I have to be quick. He loves watching me sweep, and if he spies a cheerio in the pile, it looks tasty. Yes, I have to be quick. I will get you a fresh snack, Stevie!

I've already mentioned how he likes to swim in a pile of dirty laundry, and if he sees one of his blankets in the pile...it's love time. Ahh!

Of course he likes to play outside in dirt, mud, and snow...especially with sticks. That's not so bad. And, I'm thankful he really likes his showers! :)

Isaiah 25:1

"LORD, you are my God;
I will exalt you and praise your name,
for in perfect faithfulness
you have done wonderful things,
things planned long ago." Isaiah 25:1

The past several months have been "sprinkled" (some times it seems like dumped) with some trials and difficult times. I shared several on here in previous posts. It was like we were still catching up, trying to tread water since Matt's layoff this summer. We were so thankful when he was hired on by a new company. He was actually hired the day his benefits at his last company ran out. Coincidence? I don't think so. Unfortunately, Matt's new paycheck was not what it had been before and no benefits were provided until he had worked there a certain amount of time. Paying for family health insurance out of pocket was a heavy burden. It was a significant amount more than we could actually afford every month. You can imagine (or maybe you also are in that boat!) the stress of that. We were just trying to "make it" until the benefits rolled in at his work. When the time came, we realized the plan offered at work was no cheaper, so we stuck with what we had. The stress in my gut grew deeper. Well, let me tell you: Miraculously, we were provided for during that time...even though we were so short ourselves. Little blessings along the way and things we don't even know about I'm sure, somehow filled in the gap. Yes, God filled in that gap in ways He can only do. This weekend, things just seemed to smack us though. We felt very attacked through the weekend and into Monday. We are dealing with some diapering "issues" still with Stevie that needed attention ASAP, we had slid into a guardrail on the slippery snow, and we had been in process of switching to a different health care plan to try to make it more affordable for MONTHS! Then Sunday night, our sump pump bit the dust, Matt (going back to school) received his first graded assignment back (and he's almost done with the class in 2 weeks...it would be nice to know how he's doing before then), and it was not good. Our basement is filling with water, and it's too late to get a sump pump on a Sunday night. Matt tried using something else with no success. However, in that process, he stumbled upon another pump in the basement. (We don't spend much time down there, haha, because it's an old, old cellar of an 1800's house...we've been here since June.) He hooked it up, and well, we know why it wasn't the one installed because it only works when it wants to. For days, Matt (or I had to when he as at work and class) had to go down and jiggle it to kick on...over and over and over. Not my favorite thing to do in the least....stomping through the standing water in the basement in Matt's big boots! After Stevie's Dr's appointment (waiting in the waiting room for over an hour and a half and dealing with more insurance issues...and still trying to deal with his diapering issues after we got home), I was spent. I cried the whole way home. By the time I pulled into the driveway, I said, "God, I know you're bigger than all of this. I NEED You to help. I NEED You to do...this."

A few weeks earlier, when we were looking at our budget in stress, I was telling Matt that I loved him. I loved him way more than any money he brought in, and I appreciated his faithful provision for our family. It's our choice that I stay home, and I will not complain about how much we have or don't have. We needed to do our best and let God fill in the rest because only He can. I said, "Sometimes I think He likes to show us a glimpse of How big He is and how amazing He is when we are so short." So in those moments in the car parked in our driveway, I was faithfully putting all these things in His hands. Like this verse: "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me." 2 Corinthians 12:9.

Well, we are still waiting for more of an answer in Stevie's diapering department, but never in my wildest dreams would I have expected Him to show His power to us so quickly. The next day, Matt called from work saying he got a raise!! This was so significant that it will meet our financial needs and maybe even a bit more! (Yup, when Matt called me...I cried. I called my mom...and cried. She was confused, "This is a good thing isn't it?" haha.) We are blessed I tell ya! Yes, there is a God. And my God, is a big God who deeply cares and is personally involved in our day to day lives. It is so very humbling to mean that much to Him, and to see His hand at work in our lives. And, how sweet it is to receive such blessing right in the thick of trials. It is so important to me to give praise where it is due...to our great God, and to record these things as further evidence of His greatness and love so I don't forget and can teach them to my children.

Saturday could've been better. We received unfortunate news in the mail on our way out that night...that Matt's G.I. Bill pay for going back to school will be half of what we expected due to new legislation. (Shall I say, "typical.") That was a super bummer. I don't think Matt will be taking more than half time in credits again any time soon because it just isn't worth it financially or stress-wise on the family. As we're running our errands (including a family grocery trip so I don't have to do it on my own every time as a huge pregnant lady with a cute little boy...I cannot tell you how much I love that Matt will come with us in this stage of the game), Matt discovers he doesn't have his wallet. Thankfully, it was not missing (phew!)...just in the car.

Just when I didn't even realize I needed it, while laughing through the store with my 2 favorite men...and waddling severely from a good dinner, waiting for over a half an hour in line, I paid for our groceries, and the woman behind us leans into me and softly says, "I just have to tell you this: You have the cutest baby belly I have ever seen. Congratulations! And your little boy, he's a cutie too!" I'm telling you folks, you want to make a pregnant woman's day, you tell her something positive about the way she looks. (Forget the comments about the hugeness. That doesn't really help.) That lady made my night. She was a complete stranger. She didn't have to say anything out of obligation like those close to you do (or feel like they do, haha).

We head out into the snowy night, and true to form, lost control of the car and hit a guard rail. It could've been way worse....we didn't hit it hard at all, and the damage is really minimal, and of course, most importantly we're all fine.

But oy! 2 steps back and $2 (give or take) short!

And Then There Were 2

No, the baby is not here yet. But just like that, there are now 2 cribs in our nursery. We had contemplated moving Stevie to a "big boy bed," but we decided he loves his crib, and do we really want to rock the boat if we don't have to? Nope. So, we invested in a new crib that we actually moved Stevie into because it's convertible. His previous crib was not (a wonderful hand-me-down for which I cannot complain), so that is now for the new baby. I was sort of hoping to get matching colors in the cribs since they are in the same room, but I could not turn down a good 4 in 1 crib for $88 brand new (plus I had a $10 gift card) just because of the color...I like deals!

Stevie has smoothly adjusted. I'm...getting there. I had no idea how emotional I would be (inwardly, people) as Matt set up the new crib with his little man's help. All of the sudden I felt like, "Oh no! We didn't take a picture of the way it used to be when this was just Stevie's room!" It's all changing. My boy is no longer in the only crib he's ever known. I tried to stuff it a bit and just enjoy the time for what it was. I got a few pictures of Stevie helping put the crib together (the boy has crazy fine motor skills...he was putting pieces in the screw holes ever so seriously and clapping for himself every once in awhile). It was the most precious thing to see my boys working together...and looking SO much alike (in the same positions, working on similar pieces).

But, it's hard to keep stuffing those thoughts and feelings forever. I am so ready for this new addition, so excited for the baby to be here. (And yes, even though I'm feeling relatively good for this stage of the game...almost 31 weeks... I do relish the thought of not having to make 3 pt turns in bed just to roll over!) I guess I just have a difficult time seeing my boy grow up is all. I know, I know, it's only just begun. I don't want to lose the special relationship we have...I don't want jealousy to grow in him as I have to tend to the baby. I want them to grow to become great friends. My mom has told me it was the most challenging for her going from 1 to 2 kids, but after 2, I guess the routine was well established and much easier. It will certainly be an adjustment for us all, but I'm hoping and praying it is as smooth as his transition to a different crib.

Last night was one of those "Some days" that are difficult. Stevie was crying a lot. We go through these bouts of all day crying every once and awhile. Sometimes he's overtired, sometimes he's frustrated he cannot communicate his desires to me (he still has a very limited vocabulary), and sometimes I just have no idea. It makes me feel awful though. It literally triggers something in my gut on such days (and newborn days too when he cried and cried and we just weren't getting it). I want so badly to understand what he needs. I also want so badly to be teaching him that he doesn't always get what he wants and to deal with that appropriately. I want so badly for him to know I love him. And in those days, I can get discouraged. They are often days Matt is gone all day and isn't even able to see Stevie. I think a part of that may contribute to Stevie's unrest...he misses his Daddy. But overall, our days have gotten so much better than they were a few months ago (that left me in tears a lot of nights). He really is for the most part a happy little guy. If you've ever heard him laugh, well, you know, he laughs a lot!! So anyway, in general last night was one of "those" nights.

I was busy doing a lot of laundry. We have uneven floors (old house), and apparently I'm not the best washing machine loader because our machine likes to shake and jump at least half of the time. I try to adjust the laundry, and my attempts are often not accompanied by my desired results, so I confess, sometimes I just grin and bear the noise until it's over. Well, unbeknownst to me, during that loud ruckus of my final load, the brand new unopened bottle of detergent that sat on top of the machine fell, shattering the plastic cap into what seemed like a hundred pieces, dumping the entire bottle of detergent on our hardwood floors. We still had about 45 minutes or something until Stevie's bedtime, so I decided I was going to make some hot chocolate to enjoy and relax with. My little pal followed me to the kitchen and got distracted like usual as I was preparing my "treat." I was just about to take my cup to the couch when I noticed Stevie playing in our laundry area. He was playing in a puddle. I gasped loudly because my first thought was the washing machine leaked all over the floor. Then I realized he was a sticky, gooey mess and I saw the bottle. It was at this moment, I was ready to call it a night and just cry. (Ok, so I'm pregnant too...so maybe that contributed to my emotions.) I set my hot cocoa back on the counter and start my endeavor of cleaning up the floor. I waited on cleaning Stevie up because he would likely be back to "help." I didn't even know where to begin because there was SO much detergent. I wiped as much up as I could on my hands and knees (my belly probably wiped some up too) while Stevie rolled in my paper towel roll as he unraveled it. (I didn't want to use bath towels because who knows how much detergent that would put in the washer and cause another issue.) Then I got out an extra mop sponge and tried to rinse and ring, wipe, rinse and ring...with intermittent times of chasing Stevie around to get my sponge back. (The boy loves all things cleaning.) I cleaned it up (as much as I was going to at that point), and sat down to my cooled cocoa. I internally grieved over that wasted bottle of concentrated laundry detergent though. I used a coupon to save a dollar, but I still spent like $5 or whatever. I thought about the other ways I could've blown $5, and really there are a lot of ways since starting that Dave Ramsey class. As a pregnant lady (who am I kidding, as ME), my thoughts immediately went to, "I could've bought THIS much chocolate..." or whatever else sounded good to eat at the time...oh yeah, and you know, I could've put it towards those student loans. (I think I really should record the "funny" stories of how our good intentioned plans are being sabotaged...what seems like daily.) As a stay at home mom, it's sometimes hard on me that I'm not contributing financially when we could so use it, and when my efforts of trying to save money go down the tubes like in this instance, I get so discouraged. Stevie climbed up next to me for a few spoonfuls of the not so hot cocoa, and then it was pretty much time for bed for him. As I rocked him, I was thankful for that little boy playing in the detergent puddle because if I hadn't caught him doing that, the detergent could've sat making it so much harder to get cleaned up. I was also thankful the detergent was free and clear...so no blue stains to worry about.

We survived the day, and really by most people's standards that would've been a piece of cake compared to what they're enduring. Perspective, Becky, perspective.

Then a day like today comes. One of those "other days." My little boy snuggled up on the couch with me while we (he) watched "Boo." He just pretty recently started sitting with me since he came down with that strep throat/scarlet fever a few weeks ago. He has never been a cuddly guy, but I'm hoping that's changing! He ended up falling asleep with me!! People, this has never happened. I can't recall him doing such a thing since he was a newborn! I felt badly, but I told him I needed to change his diaper because he would be totally exploded if I didn't. So, I laid him down and changed him...he slept through it. He has never done that even when he was newborn. What has happened to my boy?! I sooo badly wanted to cuddle up with him and just nap on the couch together, but we have plans tonight, and I still needed to shower (grr). So, I picked him up, he wrapped his little sleepy arms around me, and I carried him to his crib. As I laid him down, his eyes still closed, he gave me the most precious smile. These are the moments I want to hold onto forever...and in those moments, there is nothing else that matters. I may not have $5, and I may be out of laundry detergent, but I have it all...all that really matters!