Saturday, April 25, 2009

Swollen with Love?

Taken 4/28... 36 1/2 weeks
I sure am being real with all these pregnant pictures....I don't care to show them, but I know people are curious.

Oh, the comments and name-calling have continued. I mentioned in the last post a few cashier's comments to me and my ever-glowing, ahem, ever-growing, figure. Instead of fat lady (yes, the neighbor asked me, "How's the fat lady doing?"...yes, referring to me), I prefer to call myself swollen with love...lots and lots of love...or maybe just, with-child? Thankfully, 40 pounds is not all baby (despite what others have said, and no, I'm not carrying twins), or else we'd really be in trouble. Yes, I still have about a month to go, contrary to another cashier's belief this past week, "When are you due? Yesterday?" Though these aren't the most thoughtful or pleasant of comments, I try to keep my sense of humor while Matt tries to hold onto my sanity. Anytime I share these little niceties (ha!) with Matt, he gets this serious, loud tone and says, "You're pregnant!!" trying to help me feel better that it's not all ice cream cake and candy bars. I must admit the baby does like those though!)

I'm thinking of starting a list, or maybe writing a book, "Things No One Ever Told You About Pregnancy...Or Maybe Warned You About."
1. All the comments (I knew about the horror labor stories and advice for your children...but comments about my size are much more frequent than anticipated).
2. No matter when you get pregnant, you are going to be in the midst of several holidays, which means, lots of opportunities to eat really yummy food that is not so good for you. Refer back to #1.
3. Body pillows do not fit well on the bed with 2 grown people, one with a giant belly. It doesn't happen! Also, you can't just flip it to the other side when you turn over (a chore in and of itself). It gets tangled in the sheets and just becomes way too much work.
4. Invest in a cheap hot dog pillow. You know, those little cylindar pillows that look like, well, hot dogs? They are wonderful to put behind your back during long times of sitting or when you're on a plane. I even put it along my back when I lay on my side.
5. Maternity clothes really are hard to come by. Some stores have maternity in one location and not in another...and there are not many items to choose from. Actual maternity stores are quite expensive, well, for this lady anyway. I think someone business minded could make a lot by selling cute, affordable maternity clothes.
6. Hot flashes aren't just during menopause. Not everyone has troubles with this, but whooo boy, you might. You might also be thirsty all day and especially at night, increasing the countless bathroom trips you already take.
7. The cowboy syndrome...which I named to describe to my doctor, but apparently someone already thought of "saddle sore." Yes, near the end you might feel like you've been riding a horse across the country.
8. When you have a stuffy nose and are blowing it, your husband just might ask if you're losing your mucus plug.
9. Some baby stores have Expectant Mother Parking! I just took advantage of that myself a couple weeks ago and wanted to take a picture to document the memory. The only down-side of such parking spots is they're only located at baby stores, and there are like a hundred pregnant mothers. Be prepared for demolition derby type aggression in maneuvering and claiming one of the four spots.

Well, there are a lot more, but I won't bore you with them today, I mean, you'll have to wait till the release of my book! Though I joke about the sometimes craziness of this pregnancy, I have to say I am still thrilled to meet and hold this baby of ours, our little miracle!

No comments: