Monday, May 18, 2009

Should I Try It?

Hmm, should I try a Not Me! Monday post? I'll try to give it a whirl...but no guarantees I'll continue with it for your sake. So, they aren't all exactly Not ME's, but hey, you get the idea.

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

I most certainly am NOT still sitting at home with the baby still inside my belly, especially after my doctor did NOT give me the hope that I was going to have this baby over a week ago because of my quick progression up to that point! At my last appointment, I of course, could NOT have heard my doctor say I was not quite as far along as I appeared to be the last week. NO WAY would that happen! My contractions have NOT seemed to be dwindling out lately, therefore, NOT causing me to think we will never see our baby.

I am NOT going stir crazy as a result of all this waiting.

I have NOT been experiencing intense cravings of meat lately and this plain Jane did NOT, for the first time ever, order a double cheeseburger at Burger King. I have also NOT been asking Matt for steaks throughout the week, and my craving for (normally, yucky) hot dogs with ketchup, mustard, and onions certainly has NOT returned.

This 39 week pregnant lady was NOT running around, yelping in her apartment while her husband tried soundly sleeping. She was NOT trying to "take care of" a big old carpenter ant who would not squish and kept jumping off the tissue, scampering away as fast as it's little legs would carry it. I am NOT spoiled presently living in an apartment above the ground where creepy crawlies are in-frequent visitors.

I am NOT looking forward to a new week after last week's wonderfully entertaining circumstances. After all, my husband did NOT hit a deer on the way to work on Wednesday morning. Matt, of course, was NOT driving our "good" vehicle that we've just begun making payments on this year. I would NOT wait to check my email till hours after I usually do that morning to try to be a little less computer dependent. I therefore, did NOT finally open my email and read one single line, "I hit a deer. Call me." I did NOT flip out when I could not get ahold of my husband on his cell phone (after 3 calls back to back) and then when I could not reach anyone by calling his work number over and over. I did NOT fear Matt was in hospital and how I was ever going to get ahold of him. My husband did NOT turn out to be using both phones to straighten out insurance issues and car shop arrangements. I did NOT yell completely exasperated over the unanswering phones, "It's a good thing I'm not in labor right now because no one would know!" I would NOT do that. Right now, we do NOT have a stinky (as in, smelly) rental car to bop around in and have NOT had to change our plans on which vehicle will be our "hospital vehicle" because the car will NOT be in the shop between 2 and 3 weeks.

I was NOT given a "pick me up" baby gift from my dear Grandma in town as a result of the whole deer incident. I was NOT misunderstood when my brother, Pete, asked why I needed a pick me up, and I said, "Matt hit a deer." My brother did NOT hear the words, "Matt had a beer." Then Pete did NOT think he actually understood why that would make me so upset.

I am NOT sitting here writing this post while I'm supposed to be getting ready to go grocery shopping. When I drive or ride in the car, I certainly do NOT sit on a waterproof bassinet pad just in case my water happens to break. I also do NOT bring a water bottle with me to church to discreetly "spill" in case such an event happens as well. This lady, ha! Not Me!


Amy said...

Oh my goodness the water bottle idea put me over the edge you are too funny!

Beth said...

Oh my goodness, that was hilarious. I have never tried a "Not Me! Monday" post, but you have totally inspired me.

I am NOT going to say, "Have you had that baby yet?" because I know that is annoying, and for your sake, I hope that you have. :)

And for the record, my husband did NOT get into a car accident the day AFTER our son was born, in the hospital parking lot, and we were NOT without our 'family car' for about 5 WEEKS. In the meantime, I did NOT have to cram my postpartum and oh-so-fragile self into the passenger seat of his truck, which left me about 1 millimeter of leg room, given that the baby carrier (with tiny child in it!) was NOT directly behind me. (Apparently "extended cab" does not allow for the postpartum woman's difficulty climbing and squeezing herself into small spaces.) Ha ha.

Hope you're feeling good. :)

Carrie at dumptrucksandteacups said...

These are always so fun to read! Congratulations on your little one coming... it's such an exciting time!!

Thanks for leaving the sweet comment on my blog! It's always nice to meet someone new. :)