Monday, February 8, 2010

Hi, My Name is Becky

and I own a Snuggie.

Yes, I own a Snuggie. I received it as a birthday present, and the thought behind the gift was, well, as they usually are, thoughtful. I am often cold wherever I am. Ask Matt, my hands are always freezing. It makes sense, therefore, that I was given this gift to be able to keep warm.

I gave optimism a whirl that evening I received it and took it out of it's zippered plastic bag for an audience of 1 (Matt, who chuckled)...maybe 2 (Stevie, who had big eyes). "It's soft. Oh, it's big. It's ...really big." And from there optimism went out the window and reality of this silliness burst forth. I was free to laugh. Matt said, as he often does, "This is going on the blog isn't it?"

The name in itself is the antonym of what it is. Unfortunately, the Snuggie is not exactly very snuggie. It is a 1 size fits all. Apparently, I am the problem. My frame does not know that it is included in "all." All of me could be wrapped up in it about 42 times. Now that we have discussed the girth of it..or me...or the girth of me in it, let's move on to the length. I have pretty much always been ok with my height. I am 5 feet 4 inches tall. I'm about average (yup, I even looked that up) and never cared to be particularly tall. Until I met my Snuggie, I was ok with that. The Snuggie is made for "all" people... 7 feet tall. Actually, I might be able to sit on Matt's shoulders (he's 6'2") and still make it work. I'd probably look like the ghost of Christmas future, but hey, I'd be included in "all." I could probably put my legs in the sleeves too. They are long and big, certainly not easy to dip my hand in that bowl of popcorn like they advertise. Turning a page in your book, forget it! There's no real way to keep it from falling off your arms and shoulders without raising your arms high in the air.

My particular color is brown. I refer to it as my "Snuggaluffagus." It's endearing, I know. All I need is a big, brown trunk.

It's basically a thick, soft, over grown, hospital gown without the snaps. Yes, the back is completely open. How my back and bottom is supposed to stay warm...well, I guess I'm supposed to be sitting. Sitting is a luxury with an 8 month old. Long before the time I would get myself wrapped up in it (those 42 times), Stevie would need some attention. Here comes the big brown bear monster! Yikes! After tripping over the bottom and holding my arms up angelically (or, monster-like) as I move toward my child, we'd have more problems. I can already hear the crying, his and mine.

Another problem with my dear Snuggaluffagus? It sheds. After only taking it out once, it left brown fur(?) EVERYWHERE! I read a review online that says not to wash it. After one wash, it loses these huge patches of 'fur' all over it. Poor, disease stricken Snuggaluffagus. And the smell after not ever washing it...well, we can imagine...wet dog? wet bear?

I thought briefly of adding pictures, but I'm going to let you all use your imagination.

So in light of this, I thought I'd offer my first giveaway. Cheers. Clap. I have 1, brown, gently used Snuggie to give away to a lucky reader. Just comment here and tell me all the wonderful ways the Snuggie will enhance your life. I'll randomly pick a winner!*

*Just kidding. Umm. Well. Would you like my Snuggie?

1 comment:

Matt and Megan said...

Oh offer like that makes me want to refrain from posting :)

Ha ha, thanks for allowing us to use our imagination...I have quite the picture!

Hey, at least it wasn't cheetah print.