Monday, January 4, 2010

What They Don't Tell You

...you'll need.

Here's a fun post, (umm, ok, you can decide whether it's fun), about the things you need after baby arrives. When I was in elementary school, we used to discuss and dream about what life would be like by the year 2000. 10 years later, and we still don't have flying cars...or many of these necessities!

-TIME...a button or timer because you need to make more time sometimes (for all those cute freeze 'em moments and those lovely few minutes to yourself)...and less time for the other things...like time spent changing outfit after outfit of your baby and yourself...and those night feedings that drag.

-a baby U Haul. Mmm hmm, that's right, a U Haul. If I go anywhere (especially my parents' house), I take our entire loot of baby stuff with me. Diaper bags, a box of diapers, a box of wipes, 15 outfit changes, some toys, play gym, swing, bouncer, bottles, food, the dirty laundry (really?), and of course, somewhere in that vehicle hides the cute little boy! I guess I would settle for a Mary Poppins bag that would keep things contained!

-a fork lift of some sort for grocery shopping. By the time I have Stevie's seat in the cart (my carseat specifically says not to use on the top of carts over the seat area), there's no room for groceries...and those big boxes of diapers. Maybe you could just park it next to your car too, instead of having to bring that and the baby over to the cart area.

-an electric chair...no wait, not that kind...the kind that goes up the stairs and is silent- for 4 reasons. 1, after giving birth, you're not supposed to walk up and down stairs for awhile 2, it's easier than walking up and down stairs 3, it's silent, so you're baby does not hear the creak of the steps and think you're coming to rescue him from naptime. It's just mom riding the chair again! 4, you don't have to hop a baby gate at the top or bottom every time you want to go up or down. Just hop in the chair instead! While we're at it, we might as well have a basket off the side for the pacifier, burp cloth, extra blanket, etc., or a sidecar and helmet for your baby.

-how about a teller upstairs and downstairs? You know, so when you've forgotten that can of formula or bottle in one place, you can stick the plastic tube in the shoot, make your order, and moments later it'll be there!

-a "tool" belt. Yes, I need a belt, or fanny pack maybe, to carry extra pacifiers, burp cloths, blankets, hats, socks...pretty much anything I might need on hand, especially in a moment's notice.

-a grabber. You know, like the ones that pick up trash or whatever? I need a grabber for after I've picked up my baby but still need to reach the pacifier and burp cloth laying on his play mat.

-an alarm clock for the baby that works both ways. One that says, "Time to go to sleep!" and he does, and one that says, "Time to wake up happy!" and he does!

-a pacifier mobile just over the baby's head in the crib. Yes, wouldn't it be handy to have pacifiers hanging all over the crib so when the baby moves and it falls out, he can easily just open his mouth to the one dangling over his nose and "catch one" or something. It's either that or the orthodontic appliance that straps around his head.

-those cold nights? We need a sleeping bag that goes over his head too. (Yes, when discussing how to keep our boy's icey hands and cold head warm, my husband recommended gloves and a hat. I'd rather he not get hairballs though when he goes to suck on his hands. So, we're still working on this one.)

-A recording of mommy singing. Naptimes are when I'm supposed to be able to get things done? Well, they are usually spent serenading the boy to sleep, and with my voice, well, it's amazing this sometimes works!

-A lifesize Grandma doll with voice recordings. No matter how bad a day he has with me, he is always happy as a clam with Grandma! Just watching and hearing her on my computer screen makes him smile.

-I'm still working on magnetic burp cloths, ones that the spit-up just gravitates to. You know what I mean! The spit-up is always enivitably all over your clothes and the furniture (or the row in front of you at church, umm, sorry Sarah!)...not anywhere near the burp cloth.

There are so many more things new parents need. Maybe one day Babies R Us will fulfill these needs.

2 comments:

~Amy~ said...

I like your blog. How do I follow it? I didn't see a spot.

Irma Metaxas said...

Ooh… that’s a lot of stuff. Baby sitting is a multi-tasking responsibility, isn’t it? Well, in the end, the feeling after securing their wellness and safety everyday is quite rewarding. Along with the grabber, that recorded singing voice must be one of the most convenient among these, as it saves you time and energy from lulling your kids to sleep. =)