prayer for Matt

I mentioned in an earlier post that I have been reading through "The Power of a Praying Wife Book of Prayers" by Stormie Omartian. I have been praying 1 prayer a day for Matt. They have taught me so much about how to really pray for him, in all aspects. Well, today is for his protection. If you read my post below about "Carrier", I talked about praying for Matt's protection as well as protection for our troops. I don't think this prayer came up today as an accident, so please, if you would, pray for Matt, his unit, and all the troops today.

I don't want to copy every prayer she writes on my blog for fear of copyright issues (though I will cite it), so please get ahold of a copy. They are so good. For today though, I thought I should include the prayer for "His Protection".

"Lord, I pray that you would protect [Matt] from any accidents, diseases, dangers, or evil influences. Keep him safe, especially in cars and planes [and boats and helicopters]. Hide him from violence and the plans of evil people. Wherever he walks, secure his steps. Keep him on Your path so that his feet don't slip (Psalm 17:5).
If his foot does slip, hold him up by Your mercy (Psalm 94:18). Give him the wisdom and discretion that will help him walk safely and not fall into danger (Proverbs 3:21-23).
Save him from any plans of the enemy that seek to destroy his life (Psalm 103:4). Preserve his going out and his coming in from this time forth and even forevermore (Psalm 121:8)" (The Power of a Praying Wife Book of Prayers, Stormie Omartian, p.52).

"He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress; my God, in Him I will trust." Psalm 91:1-2

"Carrier"

So, this is what has been keeping me busy and up later at night this week. It's a PBS special, and sort of a documentary of the happenings aboard the USS Nimitz during a 6 month deployment in 2005.

My brother told me about it wondering if I would be interested. Ohh, that sounds like a thriller! (I'm not much for documentaries) He reminded me about it the night it began, so I changed the channel to just "check it out." I couldn't turn it off! Right now is one of those times Matt and I aren't able to communicate, as he is now on his ship (no not this one). This show has oddly enough been my connection to him. I get proud of myself for knowing what they're talking about and being familiar with the jobs. I see the guys covered in grease and hydraulic fluid and think of and smell my Man. It's definitely not the greatest nor the healthiest of all scents and won't be the next cologne! This carrier was home to jets and Matt works on the helicopters. (The Marine aircraft is always down on this carrier too....they are sooo OLD). My favorite part of staying on base was hearing the aircraft overhead (it's very loud) and thinking Matt had a hand in it. It truly is an unbelievable thing those things, helicopters or jets or any air craft get off the ground!

I think the show is also interesting because they interview the men and women, mostly of the Navy (go figure) but a few Marines too, about their present thoughts and their backgrounds. Some of their stories are heartbreaking but true. Last night on the show there was apparently a man overboard. They searched for over 3 days and didn't find him. It was so awful to watch the time go by with no rescue. It was another sober reminder to me to keep praying for safety and protection of all our military no matter where they are, "war zone" or not. If I can take the liberty, I think this special is a fairly accurate portrayal. Obviously, they can't show everything, but I think they give a pretty good picture of what happens....I ignorantly say while never being on a carrier! Anyone is welcome to share their thoughts or opinions to agree or disagree. I'm sure my readers are watching this show too, I mean come on, it's a PBS thriller! In any ordinary situation, eh hem, Matt not being recalled, I probably wouldn't be watching it unless, of course, Matt wanted to watch it with me and teach me about it all.

I'm thankful it's been on this week. I go to bed thinking of Matt somewhere out there working hard and fervently pray for his protection. I'm also very grateful for all the men and women's service to all of us Americans. Please continue to pray for our troops...for their body, mind, and soul.

*Words cannot express how much I love you Matt. Thank you for your hard work for our family and our country. Less than 2 1/2 months till you're back in the states! I can't wait!

one of those days

I had a wonderful morning talking with Matt today, actually late morning and early afternoon. We did a little online shopping together of some military wife umm, shirts and stuff to show my support and feel a closer connection. I know, some people don't understand (this has become obvious to me), but I am proud of Matt, so that's why I'd like a shirt or 2 that show my support.

Sometimes, because people don't understand, I feel like wearing this shirt. No, I didn't order it, but it begins to tell the story....
"Don't ask me if I miss him...Of course I miss him. Don't ask me is it easy? because it's not!"

Just a few minutes ago, I was told (umm, more like lectured) to be thankful he isn't in Iraq. This is a totally true statement, and trust me, I am thankful he's not there. In some ways I feel a little like a Marine wife wannabe because I'm not going through what some other wives go through, deployments over and over again to dangerous places. Nevertheless, I love my husband and am not overly excited to have him apart from me no matter where he goes. (I mean, seriously, do most wives really want to ship their husbands out somewhere for 6 months to a year or more? hmm, something's not right about that). Also, there is never any guarantee wherever he goes that he will not face danger or accidents. He is afterall, a Marine, and they will send him wherever they please in a moments' notice. Even, here at home, things can happen. Sometimes such lectures are not necessary or helpful...especially during another apartment episode where my landlord comes...unexpectedly...as I was about to take a shower, which was a close call...asking me to do more for our apartment...

So, I guess, I appreciate hearing how Matt is in other people's prayers and how we have their support. And, if you'd like to talk, please call before coming over if you are just going to ...come....when I'd like to take a shower, especially if you are a male...that just does not put me in a chatty mood.

On a positive note, I have received some words of thanks unexpectedly too. A lady from Geico told me to tell Matt thank you for his service, and she thanked me too. I was totally taken aback because I was just looking for a quote on car insurance (explaining my husband is deployed, so I'm the only driver for another 6 months...etc.). Then she told me all servicemembers and wives need to be thanked more often. She blessed my socks off, and I think mostly because it was totally unexpected, and one of the first times I've been "sincerely" thanked or included. Yes, she may have just been trying to get my business, but it was appreciated, and if anybody is going to get business, that is one way to do it. Now, I'm not looking for people to write comments, "thanking" me or Matt, but if you'd like to send Matt a note, I can pass along his email or address. I don't mind letting people thank him or anyone in the military at all.

So, thank you to all those men and women who sacrifice so much for our freedom, to the men and women in uniform and the spouses left behind who also give so much I humbly offer my thanks. I don't think I could do this for life because it is so tough....and people do. There was one shirt I liked, "born an American, wife of a military member by the grace of God"...so true.

Oh, don't forget to wear red on fridays to show your support for our troops!!

1st one

Ok, so where do I even begin? I have so many thoughts. Whoever reads these, if anybody even does, don't look for good organization, or even coherent sentences, in these posts. I'm just gonna spill it.

I guess I'll start with what, "C'mon Becky...," refers to. Chris Rice wrote this song, "Me and Becky", and Matt really likes it. He wanted that to be our first dance song....but it has a bit of a fast tempo for a slow dance. (Don't worry, he found a good replacement..."Everything's Ok" also by Chris Rice. I guess he's a fan, but I like those songs). I'll share more about our first dance another time. Anyway, that song, "Me and Becky" is sort of our theme song for the year. (You'll have to look up the verses if you're not familiar with it. I'm not technilogically advanced enough to know how to insert a weblink without it being 13 lines long yet. You'll have to be patient with me!) It talks about a girl, Becky, haha, who is living a good, Christian life, and is called to more...So, this year we're holding on tight because God is stretching us, alot.

It was not our ideal situation for Matt to be recalled into the military. We got married (December 16, 2006, ahhh, a good day) and were so excited to travel the road ahead of us...together! (Even our cake topper was the Precious Moments in a car..."Roads of Happiness." Matt loves cars!!) We were bound together in covenant and love, 3 strands of cord. We did everything together. Everything! We were together every second we could be. Then bam! We were hit with his "notice" 3 months into marriage. We got more details a month later, and he relocated 6 months after that. We were thankful for the several months we were given before he left, but boy, those were some agonizing months...dread of what lay ahead and some fears of the unknown.

I am trying to be the most supportive and loving wife I can be. (hmmm, maybe a motto for the wives of military...he's not Army, but you get the idea.) But, I'm not gonna lie, this is tough...super tough! We believe God has a plan through all this, but it is sometimes hard to see. Maybe this is one of those patchwork theories at work. We won't really know why these things happen till we can see all the pieces, or times completed, all put together...or maybe it won't be till we get to heaven.

So, lately, I feel like I need more of the other 2 strands of our cord. It's really hard not being able to be near Matt, hear his voice, even receive emails regularly. It stinks! To be completely honest, it's hard on me spiritually too. I know God hasn't left me. I know that in my mind anyway. I know that to be true from Scripture. Sometimes, I think I just try to block my emotions, so I don't have to deal with them, and that eventually leaves me disconnected. I guess sometimes I trust more in my ability to block feelings than in placing my trust in God who can heal my hurts and restore my emotions. Wow, that's not right, and it's convicting. There are certainly times I cry...just to get some out (sadness and even anger), but I don't always deal with it completely. But, then there are times I remember that song, "Me and Becky" and picture Matt singing it to me anytime we were going to go somewhere. I like to hear "Everything's Ok" quite a bit too. Everything will be ok, God is in control.

Last week, I was having a difficult time, feeling especially lonely. I was reading some other people's blogs and then, I clicked on some of their friends' blogs. I'll admit it: I'm nosey. I'm curious. There is something very interesting and intriguing about being able to read other people's thoughts, real-life stuff. This one particular person (if you somehow hear about this, please don't think I'm a stalker! Your post touched me dearly, at a moment in time I needed it so much. I thought about trying to send you a note about how much I was affected, but I chickened out...again, fearful of being viewed as a stalker..maybe sometime I'll get some guts and tell you) had downloaded a quick video of Rob Bell, entitled "Rain." At first, I thought it was sort of weird (it started with weird music and flashes of different pictures). I really didn't know what to expect. I'd never heard of him before. By the end, I was sobbing. The Lord came to me in such an intimate way as I watched and listened. He met me in my lonely, discouraged place and held me. What an amazing God we have who cares enough to reach us through a computer, that had a video, on a blog, of a friend of a friend. I need to watch that clip again.

So, this is a year of learning to trust in the Lord more than I ever have. I'm moving (more often feeling shoved...haha) out of my comfort zone. Yeah, I suppose I'm moving out of the driver's seat in a lot of ways. (That is very ironic since I don't like driving much...that's another story.) "C'mon on Becky let's go for a ride. If I'm driving too fast, then I apologize, but there's a world out there that we've left behind full of souls as important as yours and mine. Looks like a reckless road and a sacrifice, and I'm crazy scared it may cost our lives. But then I remember Jesus died, so c'mon Becky. Let's go for a ride..." (Chris Rice).

*I love you Man! 115 days done, 8 months and 5 days left. Maybe I should look at it like a growing chart!! I guess I need to drink my milk...yuck!!